Quarantined-ish Day 31
Friday, April 17, 2020 - OKC, OK

7:06am
Just spent the past hour and a half reading old journal entries. Today is my mother’s first deathday. Text Editor keeps correcting that word to “deathly,” and it’s a little annoying. We have birthdays. We have deathdays. Fuck off, Text Editor. I know it’s not an actual word, but it should be. I publish a tribute to her, in it, announcing to the Medium world that we did not like each other. It’s the truth, though, and I feel like people who can separate love from like should feel understood.

8:02am
A friend says he has a weird question for me. I text him to expect a weird answer. He asks me if I’d ever consider marrying someone to guarantee them citizenship. I reintroduce myself to him. “It’s me, you weirdo. Adi. The girl disinterested in marriage. Also, isn’t that a felony? I can’t imagine any scenario in which there will be a good outcome from that.”
Does he have COVID in his brain??

11:04am
Spent two hours on today’s journal prompt. Poetry. If there was any question about my skills as a poet, they have now been answered. Rather emphatically. Sestina is the style, and it’s ridiculous. It’s also a little fun. Like solving a math problem backward. You know what the outcome is and piece it together from that. It’s French and complicated and instantly gratifying. Well, an hour and fifty-nine minutes of intense brainwork, actually, but that last minute is gratifying.

4:27pm
Even when OYC is fully financially viable, I’ll keep teaching public classes, if for no other reason than to move. There is a surprising amount of sitting involved in being a small business owner, and even more so, now that I haven’t set foot in a studio in a month. Five hours. One position. My ass is fused to the floor. Thanks, COVID.

6:56pm
I brave the repercussions of not being afraid of my own voice and post this morning’s article to social media. And actually, it’s not the voice that’s scary. It’s using it to tell the truth. This turns into a classic example of how truthful stories can help more people than they hurt (a quote from Donny Starkins). Responses from friends and strangers flood in. The two that mean the most are from my cousin Sunni, who I haven’t seen in at least a decade and writes that this made her feel validated, and Contagion who thanks me for being brave, even though my bravery was completely fueled by his and Jayleen’s and Nicole’s and all of the other people in my life who continually and courageously put themselves out there.