quarantined-ish day 30

Quarantined-ish Day 30
Thursday, April 16, 2020 - OKC, OK

5:56am
Alone in Elemental, I hear someone beating on the garage door that leads to the kitchen. This goes on for half an hour. I ask for a name. Silence. At 6:30, the front door unlocks and Susanna opens the garage door for the food delivery guy. The scones are fine and my heartbeat resumes. I survived the Fresh Food non-killer and didn’t scorch the scones. This is going to be a good day.

12:00pm
Five straight hours at my laptop is rewarded by a trip to Mount Scott. Socially distanced repeats with Elena and Wendy. The highlights:

*on the rapid growth of fingernails
me: I wish we didn’t need them. They grow so fast, and I always cut right down to the quick.
Elena: What do you pick your nose with, then?
me: My toenails.

*on last week’s not-heatstroke
Elena: I could see the heat coming off the road.
Elena: My skin has never been so hot and red before.
Elena: I was so dizzy I thought I’d pass out.
Elena: See? That’s the spot right there that saved me. Shade never felt so good.
Wendy and me, simultaneously: Well, thank God you’re not dramatic.

*on the misery of last week’s labial chafing
Elena: I’m not proud of myself for doing it twice. I’m proud of myself for doing it twice while being that miserable.
Wendy: What do you mean?
Elena: I was having heatstroke
me, interrupting: She did not have heatstroke
Elena: Okay, I felt like I was having heatstroke, and my feet had giant blisters. My shorts were too short so my inner thighs kept rubbing together, and I wasn’t wearing panties so I chafed my labia. I had to walk on the sides of my feet, legs spread apart, and holding my crotch.
me: That’s all part of the running. Also, I don’t understand how you chafed your labia. I believe you. I just can’t understand it. Gotta tell you, though… I’m glad I don’t. Also, you kicked ass last week.

*on waiting for Elena to pee near the end of round one
Elena: I’m pulling over to pee. I’ll catch up.
Wendy: Okay, we’ll go get the car….. (more long, silent pause) um, situated.
me: I was curious how you were going to end that sentence.

4:57pm
We shaved 30 minutes off the total trip and reward ourselves with a mystery IPA from Lively Beerworks. It’s definitely the best beer I’ve ever tasted. Or it’s just a well-timed, decently tasting IPA. Either way, it felt like drinking gold - whatever that means.

7:44pm
I check the stats on my first Medium story. In 24 hours, I’ve made a whopping nickel. I hope it’s a wooden one.

8:31pm
I spend twenty minutes trying to find Disney Sing Along because Contagion tells me he’s “live tweeting” about it. That’s 19.5 minutes longer than I’d normally spend trying to find a show that I’ve never heard of. I decide that his live “Facebook tweets” are entertaining enough and give up.