Hello you,

It’s been a while, I know, but life has been whirlwindy in the best of ways. Since my last letter, I’ve camped in the Colorado mountains, worked a retreat in southeast Oklahoma, participated in another close to home, and started the framework for YogaFest 2022 (with great help, of course). There’s more, but I have less than an hour before I have to gather my things and teach a class themed on trust - or more specifically, a class on trust and how trust demands boundaries in order to fully integrate. And that, my sweet friends, is how I’m finally sitting back in my favorite spot with my favorite chipped coffee mug doing one of my favorite things: writing you.

Brace yourself. This is going to get heavy. This may be activating, which is a clear sign of how important this topic is.

If you’ve been reading my words for any length of time, chances are high that you know I’m a rape survivor. If you’ve been reading my words for any length of time, you probably have realized that I don’t talk politics on this platform. If you’ve been reading my words for any length of time, you may have noticed that I don’t enjoy making broad-sweeping statements, rather I choose to leave space for your own interpretation, your own experience.

Today, I’m breaking my own rules.

For a little over twenty-four hours, I’ve been sitting with the news that Texas has now become, simultaneously, the literal least pro-life and most pro-birth state in our nation. Most of us have seen enough rhetoric to understand today’s cultural differentiation between pro-life (supporting our existing humans and their desire to thrive) and pro-birth (supporting the successful birth of humans, subsequently ceasing support as soon as they leave the birth canal), and that, sweet readers, is where the emotions run high.

Amongst close friends, I have joked that Oklahoma and Texas are competing for the nonexistent title of History’s Worst Governor. That is no longer a joke, and Governor Abbott just catapulted himself into a wide lead when he signed Texas SB8 into law, yesterday - a law that not only eliminates access to safe abortions, but turns the whole goddam state into a vigilante system.

How, you ask? By the same means every other Machiavellian, ultra-conservative political pinhead employs to get his way: money and power. Let me be clear. I’m not against people having conservative values or even disagreeing with abortion. To those people, I say “Great. Don’t get one.” Nor am I against people having enough money or power to make waves in this world; but, when they make waves that drown entire demographics in their own personal beliefs, when they create a veritable system of bounty hunters, I take issue.

And that’s what Governor Abbott has commissioned: a system of bounty hunters in the name of civil enforcement. Cunning, really. Also, a dick move.

As Texas SB8 is written, it is against the law for a woman to have an abortion once cardiac activity can be detected, which is typically around six weeks - a time frame that many women breeze right through before even realizing they may be pregnant. And as if stripping a woman’s body autonomy isn’t enough, as if leaving little-to-literally-no time for decision-making isn’t enough, he has placed the enforcement of this ludicrous statute squarely in the hands of his constituents.

Section 171.208 expressly states that any person other than an officer or employee of a state or local governmental entity in this state, may bring a civil action against any person who performs or induces an abortion in violation of this subchapter, or knowingly engages in conduct that aids or abets the performance or inducement of an abortion.

Aids or abets. Anyone who helps a woman get an abortion, in Texas, after cardiac activity in the fetus can be detected can be sued by ANY random anti-abortionist zealot who gets wind of it. Or, you know, anyone who stands outside of any Planned Parenthood looking for an opportunity to make an extra ten grand - the going rate for tattletales, in the lone star state.

So now, not only does our gunslinging state to the south take Texas-style pride in oppressing an entire gender, but it empowers its citizens - no… not even empowers, but incentivizes them - to do the same.

I should clarify that I’m not advocating for abortion as a primary form of birth control. I’m simply saying it should be an option - ideally, a last resort option, but an option nonetheless. When choice is stripped, so is safety. When choice is stripped, so is dignity. When choice is stripped, so is trust in our leaders. When abortion is no longer a legal option, many women are faced with choosing unsafe, underground procedures or birthing an unwanted child and/or perpetuating the poverty cycle they, themselves are amidst.

This should be enough. Everything I just said should be enough of a reason to question the duplicitously rigid and expansive law, but reading the cries of women - and even men (thank you, by the way) - over the last twenty-four hours tells me that it isn’t.

Nearly twenty-one years ago, I was raped. In Texas. Had my rape resulted in pregnancy, I’m certain that I would have terminated it. It has been over two decades, and I’ve processed that part of my life, but if I had been forced to carry my rapist’s baby and had a visual daily reminder of that trauma, that statement would’ve been written differently.

I’ve engaged in many healthy debates about this topic, and I intentionally chose to not ever make it personal, not ever make it about me. The thing is, though, is that it is personal. It is personal to me, and it’s personal to every woman who is now being denied the right I would have had so long ago. So, to all of the women who are suffering at the hands of the state, and to all of the women who will find themselves scrambling for palatable options in the future, I see you and I feel you. To Governor Abbott, fuck all the way off. Twice.

With love always,

Adi